(d) The old lady sat alone in her room.
That was the coldest night ever to her .Creakling sound was made as she sat down on her old wooden rocky chair . She crossed her old and weak legs together as she looked out of her plain looking window with thick covering of dust all over it .From the inside , its quite blurrish to see through whats happen outside. From there , Jane look outside seeking to see anything that catches her attention but the lonely room and dark night changes her feelings . On the street, she could see many couples holding hand as pairs and pairs walking together . She gets even more down with her feelings for her husband , she misses him for so many years . Awaiting for the day where she could meet him again .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Good attempt although a few awkward structures here and there. I do like how you make use of details both inside and outside the room to show the reader how lonely she is.
ReplyDeleteOne thing you can think about it how to use the word "old" less? Especially in sentences next to each other.
Also, I don't think "blurrish" is a word.
Another thing you should watch out for as I am re-reading this is you tenses. You start with past tense, then in between there is a shift. Be consistent with your tenses.
ReplyDelete